Instead, I have compiled a list of funnies and links. Enjoy!
First, some geek stuff.
You know you want a vintage DC poster series for your bedroom. Admit it.
You've got initiative. Roll to hit... Who cares if you're in the shower?
And for later, when you want to stay dry:
Coolest. Umbrella. Ever.
Tired of dying those same tired eggs every Easter? Want something with some flair?
How about Peepshi? All you need is a package or so of Peeps, Fruit by the Foot, and some Rice Krispies bars.
Oh, and a really sharp knife. Instructions here.
Did Jobs sucker you into buying one of those gigantic iTouches known as an iPad? Does the damn thing take up half of your desk just sitting there? Want to camo the thing while it charges?
Here's an option: The iCade!
So, if you see someone drowning, are you supposed to call 911, or just LOL?
What could possibly make baby formula better?
Adding bacon, of course!
Speaking of feeding, how many hungry weasels could your body feed? I came in at 40.
For all of you parents out there, we have the 10 cruelest jokes played on children by their parents. This ought to be good for an idea or two...
And finally, what post full of nonsense would be complete without 160 Arnie movie quotes? Enjoy!