Speaking of turkey, here are the five dumbest questions asked at the Butterball Hotline:
Is it okay to thaw my turkey in the bathtub while bathing my kids?
Can I brine my turkey in the washing machine?
Can I use my oven’s self-cleaning cycle to speed up the cooking process?
If I cut my turkey with a chainsaw will the oil affect the taste?
Can I take my frozen turkey into my sauna to thaw it faster?
Or instead of calling the hotline, you could get your turkey preparation advice from this guy:
Lastly, you may need this to make it through those oddball relatives that show up and annoy the crap out of you... The ultimate Altoids survival kit:
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!