Friday, April 27, 2012

Quite the Send Off...

With the possibility of the enlightened post 'Arab-Spring' Egypt lowering the marriageable age of girls to 14 and introducing "Farewell Intercourse" legislation, I have copied the Angry White Imam's post regarding the new proposed law that allows a Muslim man to have sex with his dead wife for up to six hours after her passing.

'Cause if you don't laugh, you'll cry.


Ohhhhhhh, shama lama you ding dong infidels. Angry White Imam in the 
house tent! And the AW Imam has got his freaky-deaky on, infidels! Because the Egyptian parliament has declared it is lawful for Muslims to have sex with their dead wives!! And what Muslim doesn’t have dead wives scattered all over the place? Oh, don’t get so self-righteous, you infidel dogs! The law only allows for the Egyptian Muslim man to have sexy time with his dead wife for the first six hours after her death. It’s not like Egyptians are like those savage Saudis, who can legally have sex with their dead wives until they have been dead six and a half hours! Animals!
Egyptians are, of course, the most civilized culture in the world, infidels. I know you agree. That’s why we Egyptians can only have sex with our dead wives for up to six hours after her death. It takes at least one hour to hose the blood off after the stoning, so we Muslim men must work fast if we’re going to get maximum flippy-floppy time in the saddle. And the parliament has enacted a fatwa to ensure that a Muslim man does not exceed his time limit. If an Egyptian Muslim husband has sex with his dead wife for even one minute more than the six hour time limit after her death…his penis will turn into a Jew. I know, it’s a horrible thought, infidels.
And, if dead wife humping wasn’t good enough news, the Egyptian parliament also lowered the minimum age for marriage for young girls to 14!! The Imam would like to see a much lower age. Sadly, Egypt is not as advanced as other Muslim nations that allow the marriage of girls as young as sperm. Also, many Muslim men in Egypt were greatly disappointed that the minimum age to kill young girls married to them remained at 15. Well, it gives us more time to dig the pit and pick only the finest of stones. Because Muslim women deserve only the best!
Before you Jews and infidels cry for the poor Muslim women of Egypt, you should know that the Egypt’s National Council for Women is trying to have the new law overturned. As if, infidels! But Muslim women are creatures of Allah so they are allowed to speak. The National Council for Women said in a released statement:
‘The Egyptian parliament, by allowing husbands to have sex with their many, many dead wives, is marginalising and undermining the status of women would negatively affect the country’s human development.’
After their statement was read, we Imams killed and had sex with them. But not for one minute more than six hours! Allah forbids it…and besides, who wants a Jew for a penis?
To be honest, infidels, Muslim women have never been any better than a sick camel in the sack! Perhaps it is because we cut off their tingly parts when they are young girls. But doing the horizontal jihad with a Muslim woman is about the same whether she’s alive or dead, take it from the Imam. Thank Allah for those sexy goats who can be humped for weeks after their death!
Since Egyptian Muslims are a civilized people, the parliament has also decreed that the Muslim woman can also have sex with her dead husband for up to six hours after his death. If they ever manage to live longer than their husbands…which they don’t! But talk about climbing on top of a stiff! Bwahaha! Shama lama!
So once again, Islam wins and you infidels and Jews lose! Muslims get to enjoy some of life’s little pleasures….marrying children, killing them and then having sex with them. Don’t tell me you’re not envious, infidels! We will both know you are lying!
Since the Imam is so joyous over the new laws, I am going to treat you pigs and dogs to the Dance of the 1000 Imams. I will share with you that this is the song I play for each of my wives before she is stoned to death. They love it! Now, with the new laws and by the grace of Allah, all of my pre-stoning wives will have something to look forward to for at least six hours after her death!

12 comments:

USA_Admiral said...

Just when the you think the slime barrel of islam could not get any more vile or disgusting they manage to create a deeper level of depravity in said slime barrel.

Now that is cutting edge commentary from .

Brooke said...

Islam: The Religion of Pieces and also of state-sanctioned necrophilia. Slime doesn't begin to describe it!

Always On Watch said...

Here is something to consider: Way back when Jehovah ordered the Israelites to exterminate the Canaanites, who practiced, among other vile things, necrophilia.

Some of those tribes that followed MTP are genetically related to the ancient Canaanites.

cube said...

Unbelievable in this day and age.

Steve: The Lightning Man said...

And I thought I'd seen it all with Octopus Porn.....

Mr. AOW said...

What sickos muzzies are!

Brooke said...

AOW: such proud tradition.

Cube: sadly, it is bellievable, considering the source.

Steve: I'm not going to Google that. Sounds too much like hentai...

Mr. AOW: that's exactly what my husband said!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Almost makes you want to convert huh.

Speedy G said...

Can we bring back Mubarek?

Z said...

Wouldn't you kind of like to know how a woman can make love to a man who's been dead six hours? On the other hand, maybe there are wives who've always felt that way :-) (just a little light humor there !!)

But, honestly...what kind of PEOPLE would even SUGGEST this? ptui

Krystal said...

That's just ... gross. Seriously, twisted, sick and gross. I'm just ... ick ...

Always On Watch said...

Mohammed was also a necrophiliac?