If I Were King Of The Forest...

The Cowardly Lions in the Democratic party's lineup of presidential hopefuls have come out with their plans for Iraq:

(Emphasis mine)


Delaware Sen. Joe Biden:

Withdraw almost all U.S. forces by the end of 2007. Maintain a residual force of about 20,000 troops for counterterrorism efforts, protection from foreign threats and training for Iraqi security forces. Divide Iraq along autonomous ethnic lines, with a central Iraqi government only for border security, foreign policy and to divide fairly the nation's oil resources. Gain cooperation from Sunni Arabs by guaranteeing them 20 percent of oil revenues. Convene with the United Nations a regional security conference to pledge support for the power-sharing agreement. Increase reconstruction assistance and establish a jobs program to keep youth away from crime.

Youth jobs program? CRIME?

Obviously, Biden has no grasp of the real problems in the Middle East. We aren't talking crime, we're talking about HOMICIDE BOMBING, and a job isn't going to deter the killers from carrying out the word of their god!


New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton:

Begin redeploying (Democratic term meaning "retreat.") troops out of Iraq within 90 days. Supports a goal of all removing all combat troops except those needed for residual missions by March 2008. Residual forces would be charged with training and equipping Iraqi security forces, counterterrorism activities, protecting U.S. personnel and facilities, and protecting the Kurds in northern Iraq. Require the Iraqi government to meet benchmarks such as passage of oil law and reducing sectarian influence in security forces or cut off U.S. funding for security forces and reconstruction.

Why should the Iraqis worry about us cutting funding. It's clear that we've already cut off support and, if Shrillary gets her way, all military aid will be cut off as well, leaving the Iraqis at the mercy of Iran and it's allies.

Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd:

Immediately redeploy (retreat) combat troops out of Baghdad and other urban areas to other less populated areas; to bases in Kuwait and Qatar; and to Afghanistan. Remaining troops would have a narrow mission of training and equipping Iraqi security forces, counterterrorism activities and protecting U.S. personnel and facilities.

Dodd's order for the troops: Hang out where there's no chance of you doing any good in areas that actually need military intervention. Look good for the camera, thereby making me look good.


Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards

Immediately withdraw 40,000 to 50,000 troops, along with any sent over as part of President Bush's plan in January to add 30,000 troops eventually. Bring home all combat troops within 12-18 months. Leave a residual force to help protect the U.S. Embassy and Americans offering humanitarian relief, and keep a force in the region to prevent civil war from spilling over into other countries, becoming a genocide or spreading terrorism.

Edward is clearly in the dark about the civil war angle. Most of the terror attacks in Iraq have been funded and equipped by Iran, and the last time I checked the map, they weren't provinces in the same country...

Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich

Close all U.S. military bases in Iraq and withdraw the troops, while simultaneously ordering the return of all U.S. contractors and turning over their work to the Iraqi government. Convene a regional conference to develop a security and stabilization force made up of troops from other nations that would replace U.S. troops, a process he says will take at least three months. Fund the peacekeeping mission, a national reconciliation and reparations to the Iraqi people.

Kucinich is clearly insane. The U.S. carries the UN, and every world-scale military operation on planet Earth. Does he honestly think that Europe would help out the Iraqis, especially if we left?

And REPARATIONS?!? For what? Freeing them from a despot? If anyone needs to pay reparations to Iraq, it is the remnants of the Baath party, Iran and al-Quaida.


Illinois Sen. Barack Obama

Introduced legislation two months ago that would have begun bringing home troops by Tuesday, the fourth anniversary of Bush's speech declaring an end to major combat operations in Iraq. (Feeling a bit catty, are we?) All combat troops would be deployed out of Iraq by March 31, 2008. Allow for a temporary suspension of the redeployment (retreat) if the Iraqis meet specific security, political and economic benchmarks. (These requirements will be set so hight that it would be impossible for the Iraqis to meet them.) Leave a residual force of a size to be determined (purposefully vague) to help train Iraqi troops, participate in counterterror operations, protect U.S. personnel and maintain a presence at the Defense Department's attache office. Intensify training of Iraqi security forces. Recommend the appointment of a special envoy to oversee international diplomatic efforts to end the civil war in Iraq. (Is that the civil war with Iran? Just curious...)

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson

Withdraw troops by the end of 2007, including residual forces, unless Bush can show the Iraqi government is meeting established benchmarks. (Wait a minute... I thought this was what you'd do if YOU were president! What's Bush got to do with it?) Lead the way on providing aid for reconstruction and encouraging national reconciliation. Convene a regional conference.

Translation: I have no plan whatsoever. Does this sound good enough for a sound byte?