Protest-capades!

Nothing is more fun than seeing a punk anti-American, anti-war protester get whatever shaky sense of pride he may have had handed to him by a 90-lb. girl!



Thanks, Elmer's Brother!

UK Terror Plot Foiled

England is the newest battlefront with Islamofacism. Since the bus bomb in in July of 2005, MI5 thwarted a plot to smuggle explosives onto an airplane in a baby bottle, terror is being freely preached from the mosques, Muslim women are being more and more treated as if they live in a Sharia ruled country, and those with ties to terror/radical groups are telling us how moderate they are. Really.

Now, Muslims who dare to serve their country are being targeted for extermination along with the kuffar. The message: Get in line with the Ummah or die!


Police in Birmingham arrested eight people, foiling a plot in the latter stages of planning to kidnap a British Muslim soldier on British soil, murder him by beheading, and air the video they would take of their vile act on the Internet.

From al-Reuters:

"It certainly seems to confirm Britain is particularly vulnerable to al Qaeda-style attacks because of the historic links to Pakistan and the Pakistani community here," said Shane Brighton, a terrorism expert at London think-tank Chatham House.

"The suggestion is that there is a higher level of risk in the UK from those Pakistani-linked groups that there is elsewhere in Europe. We may well be on the forefront of this."

You already are. France is up to it's eyeballs, European countries like Germany won't fight anyway, and England is next.

Peons Making Policy?

An employee of Wisconsin-based Bargain Suppliers has been fired after sending off a hateful, anti-American, ant-Soldier email to Army Sgt. Jason Hess concerning a mere business transaction.

The company canned the employee after being flooded with angry emails and voice mail messages following the email, which was sent about two weeks ago.

Sgt. Hess sent Bargain Suppliers an email requesting the company to ship its foam-rubber floor matting to an APO in Iraq.

The response he got back was appalling.

From al-Reuters:

"We do not ship to APO addresses, and even if we did, we would NEVER ship to Iraq. If you were sensible, you and your troops would pull out of Iraq."

Can you even imagine being so ill-mannered, selfish, soulless, and ungrateful a person that you would have the gall to write such a thing to a man defending your country?

Windows Vista Premiers: There Will Be Wailing In The Streets

Windows Vista is out today...



Fatima claims that Windows Vista destroyed all 14 of her houses, killed all of her children and martyred her husband.

Don't be a part of the problem, folks. Switch to Mac!

Cleanup In the East!

Just a day after the White House denounced the latest homicide bombing in Israel, Russian Foreign Minister Alexander Saltanov said that he wants the Western aid freeze on the Palestinian Authority Hamas lifted.

Does anyone else think that Russia want the chaos and strife to continue, to draw attention away from the sale of Uranium and the return to the Hammer and Sickle?

"This means helping to turn a direct dialogue between the Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, which started shortly before the New Year, and their planned new meetings into full-scale talks," he said.

If Olmert weren't a waste of skin, he'd have talks... And they'd go something like this:

"If you so much as harm a hair on the head of one more Israeli, you will find out what real suffering is!"

But I guess he's too busy taking orders from the U.S.... At least according to Nasrallah, anyway.

Nasrallah accused President Bush of causing the chaos in Lebanon, and claimed his that his militant group was blameless in the whole situation.

Uh-huh. So how many Khartoum rockets have been launched sine the so-called cease-fire?

So much for that.

Nasrallah continued:

"The one who fomented chaos in Lebanon, who destroyed Lebanon, who killed women and children, old and young in Lebanon, is George Bush and (Secretary of State) Condoleezza Rice who ordered the Zionists to launch the war on Lebanon," Nasrallah said in a fiery speech.

The July-August war killed nearly 1,200 people in Lebanon, mainly civilians, and 157 Israelis, mostly soldiers.

"The one who must be punished, who must be tried, is the one who ordered the launching of war on Lebanon. George Bush wants to punish you because you resisted, he wants to punish you because you won," Nasrallah said addressing a sea of black which converged on Beirut's southern suburb to commemorate the killing in battle of the Prophet Mohammad's grandson, Imam Hussein.

"George Bush knows ... and we reiterate to him -- and the whole world should hear --, that we are a nation that doesn't succumb and can't be humiliated."

The whole thing was wrapped up with a cute little "Death to America, death to Israel" chant session.

So let me get this straight... According to Nasrallah, the Zionists are the cause of all the problems in the world and are in charge of everything, but Israel takes orders from the U.S. who takes orders from the Zionists? I'm SO corn-fused...

Iraqi Troops Taking Care Of Business!

Iraqi troops conducted a military operation overnight that killed 200 militants belonging to a religious cult. Another 60 were wounded and 120 were captured.

The cult, named Jund al-Samaa, or Soldiers of Heaven, was planning on killing pilgrims at a Shiite religious festival, Ashoura.

The cult leader, Ali bin Ali bin Abi Taleb (whew), claimed to be the Mahdi. (With a name like Ali bin Ali bin Abi Taleb, can you blame him for going nuts?)

Meanwhile, Shiite leader Abdul-Aziz al-Hakim urged Shiites that though they are the target of mass killings and terror, that they should not retaliate with violence.

"I sympathize with our Sunni brothers in their ordeal with the terrorists as I sympathize with the Shiites in their ordeal with the terrorists," he said. "I condemn the killing of Sunnis as I condemn the killing of the Shiites."

Yeah, let's shed blood together! It's Ashoura, after all!



For a bit of history on this *ahem* glorious celebration, visit Joel's Trumpet.

If You Can't Do The Time, Don't Do The Crime.

A drug dealer caught for the first time in Australia has avoided a 25-year prison sentence for selling more than $700 worth of Ecstasy and methyl amphetamine.

How, you may ask, did he swing that?

Judge Barry Beazley decided, and I quote, the "hard working and highly motivated" 22-year-old's "fear of imprisonment" and athletic abilities would lead him to reform his life.

'Kaaaay... Let that sink in for a moment.

I would submit that the only thing this punk works hard at or feels motivated to do is push poison to addicts.

But hey, he's good at sports, and would rather not go to jail, so let's oblige him, shall we?

The judge also ruled that this punk's fear (boo-hoo) of doing time would be an "effective deterrent" against a repeat offense.

Do 'ya think that that fear of jail would've kept him from dealing in the first place if it were really an "effective deterrent?"

So what punishment did the highly motivated Kym Sidney Tyrone O'Hara receive for his crimes?

A two-year bond good behavior bond worth a mere $1,000.

Troll Abortion

Today has been a big day for me at NeoCon Command Center.

I have re-affirmed my identity as a NeoCon, IE: "as bad as the Democratic Underground," as [not] "understand[ing] what you're writing about here, or you intentionally try to mislead," "dishonest," "a demagogue," "part of the cancer that is gnawing away at America," and of course, "part of the problem."

Of course, I had to oblige that bit of idiotic ranting by deleting the comment these insults originated from, as the troll actually begged me to ban him.

All that, and I even set up a sterile field and performed a troll abortion right before being allowed to switch to the new Blogger.

Not bad for one day, huh?

More Dirt On The Peanut

For someone who was "hurt" by being called a bigot and an anti-Semite, Jimmuh is awfully bigoted and anti-Semitic.

Carter apparently discriminated against Jewish people during his administration when he determined that the Holocaust Memorial Council had "too many Jews."

In fact, Monroe Freedman, the council's former executive director has come forward with accusations that Carter's office rejected a Presbyterian Christian scholar from the board because his name sounded too Jewish.

Freedmen sent a memo to the Carter administration recommending board members, along with the aforementioned Presbyterian. The memo was returned with a note in the upper right hand corner that said, "Too many Jews," in Carter's handwriting and initialed by Carter.

From WND:

"I got a phone call from our liaison at the White House saying this particular historian whose name sounded Jewish would not do. The liaison said he would not even take the time to present Carter with the possibility of including the historian on the board because he knew Carter would think the name sounded too Jewish. I explained the historian is Presbyterian, but the liaison said it wouldn't matter to Carter."

Freedman said he was "outraged by this absurdity."

"If I was memorializing Martin Luther King, I would expect a significant number of board members to be African American. If I was memorializing Native American figures I'd expect a lot of Native Americans to be on the board.

"I do not for a moment consider it inappropriate to build a Holocaust council with a significant majority of the board being Jewish," Freedman stated.

For even more disgusting anti-semitism from Carter, read this at Du' dRat Review... Yet another vile document with Jimmuh's handwriting all over it!

Petition:

Read this at Du d'Rat Review, and sign away!

Be Good To Your Women... Walk Them Once A Day.

A Turkish father is pictured taking his daughter for a walk. Hey, at least he's letting her out of the house, right?



This Picture is from the Religion of Peace, hat tip to Fortress Australia Outpost for the find.

No Whites Allowed!

The Black Caucus has made it crystal clear: If you're white, you need not apply.

White liberal Stephen Cohen from Tennessee has dropped his bid to join the Congressional Black Caucus after several members have sent the message that whites will not be approved to join.

From The Politico:

Cohen said he became convinced that joining the caucus would be "a social faux pas" after seeing news reports that former Rep. William Lacy Clay Sr., D-Mo., a co-founder of the caucus, had circulated a memo telling members it was "critical" that the group remain "exclusively African-American."

Other members, including the new chairwoman, Rep. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, D-Mich., and Clay's son, Rep. William Lacy Clay, D-Mo., agreed.

"Mr. Cohen asked for admission, and he got his answer. ... It's time to move on," the younger Clay said. "It's an unwritten rule. It's understood. It's clear."

The bylaws of the caucus do not make race a prerequisite for membership, a House aide said, but no non-black member has ever joined.

Rep. Pete Stark, D-Calif., who is white, tried in 1975 when he was a sophomore representative and the group was only six years old.

"Half my Democratic constituents were African American. I felt we had interests in common as far as helping people in poverty," Stark said. "They had a vote, and I lost. They said the issue was that I was white, and they felt it was important that the group be limited to African Americans."

OK, now close your eyes and imagine a Congressional White Caucus denying membership to black applicants... Yeah. It's not pretty, is it?

We all know that as long as you're a "minority," it's OK to be blatantly racist. Martin Luther King must be turning over in his grave.

Jimmuh's Feelings Hurt.

The Peanut is defending his blatantly anti-Semitic book, claiming that he didn't intend to offend anyone and is hurt by the negative backlash.

From Fox.com:

"I've been hurt and so has my family by some of the reaction," Carter said during an appearance at Brandeis University, a nonsectarian Jewish-founded college in the Boston suburb of Waltham, Mass. "This is the first time that I've ever been called a liar and a bigot and an anti-Semite and a coward and a plagiarist. This has hurt me."

Well gee, Jimmuh... Maybe you should have thought about that before you wrote a ream of bigoted, anti-Semitic, plagiaristic, cowardly lies!

Carter added that the critics of his book are an "extreme minority" and he was "willing to face the accusations." He added that he believes peace could be achieved in the Middle East if Israel withdraws from their own territory and lets "the Palestinians have a viable and contiguous state of their own, living side-by-side in peace."

Oh, so of course anyone who thinks the Peanut is an utter moron must be marginalized into an "extreme minority."

And we all know that those Palys just want to live in peace... It's only the evil Israelis that force them to kill women, children and immediately ignore cease-fire efforts. I wonder what he thinks Iran's problem with Israel is caused by? What would those darn Joooos have to do to placate Amahdinejad into stopping his constant threats of annihilation?

By Carter's figuring, the best way we can solve our problems with illegal immigration is to just give all of the border states back to Mexico... Yeah, then everything will be just ducky.

What an imbecile.

An Inconvenient Truth...

This picture was taken in Tucson, AZ on Monday, January 22nd...

In addition, natural gas futures rose yesterday on forecasts of a persistent cold winter.

Darn that global warming!

State Of The Union Address.

It's on tonight. The exitement, the childish booing and the silly sit-down, stand up game... The State Of The Union Address!

I suppose I'll down a handful of valium and force myself to watch it, but if you don't hear from me it means I've probabaly had an aneurysm in the first three seconds of the Democratic pre-prepared rebuttal.

VerityInk has transcript of what the real Address should sound like:

It is the same as always; only more than ever, the world is looking to America.

Eleven score and eleven years ago, our forebears brought forth upon this continent a new nation whose founding principles have transformed every human life since.

Within merely 231 trips by this small planet around the sun, the United States of America has become the Great Enigma of all recorded history: We are the most-envied, most-admired, most-coveted, most-desired place on earth to live and work and play and raise a family. Yet we are the most-resented, most-reviled, most-rejected, most-hated nation on Earth.

More people want to weaken us, harm us, destroy us and conquer us than any other land. Large in number, they remain a global minority.

The enigma unveils a tormenting conundrum: No people in all of history have been more caring, more generous of their substance to help fellow inhabitants of this globe. No other nation has so magnanimously forgiven its debtors their debts. No other nation, at such cost in blood and treasure, has ridden to the rescue more often to save other nations from enslavement.

Tolerating the Intolerable

No other nation has tolerated — vigorously protected — its own internal critics' freedom to abuse, malign, lie about, and defame its own principles and its own freely elected leaders to the extent the United States has. No other nation has made a safe harbor, and principally financed, within the heart of its largest city a global town square for other nations to send their officials to speak slander and hurl epithets against their host.

Amid all this, the nation whose risky course on a hostile sea of international scoffing and belittling was set in 1776 by a small band of brave, God-fearing patriots is today the best-fed, best-clothed, best-housed, and best-educated, the healthiest and the safest, most fully employed and creatively occupied nation on the face of the earth. It is, by virtue of its own merits and hard work, and the inadequacies and foolishness of other nations, now the world's only superpower — powerful enough to destroy, many times over, all life on this planet.

Yet it is a nation that has no territorial ambitions. It covets no other people's assets. Only those who threaten the United States with harm have cause to fear it.

Read the rest at the Du'DRAT Review!

I Could Do This Lying Down...

Guess what, guys? Thanks to the ErgoQuest 500, I'll never have to get out of bed to do my bloggin' again!

Mindless Amusement

Lindsay Lohan on her way to rehab?

Da Bears!

Da Bears are on their way to Da Superbowl!

Numbers And Reality.

(Hat tip to Conservative Intelligence Report for the cartoon.)

Benning at Benning's Writing Pad has an excellent post regarding the age old axiom: All that evil requires to triumph is for good men to do nothing.

"History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all our powers of reason we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points:

Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence.

Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from Germany , they will awake one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun."

Read the whole thing here.

Go Pound Sand.

This kind of says it all, huh?

(Click to enlarge.)

Butler County Now Deporting Illegals!

Do you like the sign outside of our jail? :D

In Butler County, Ohio, our Sheriff, Richard Jones is now authorized as a 287 (g) immigration authority... Which means we are now one of only seven state and local police agencies in the Union with the power to enforce immigration laws, including deportation!

Read about it here, at Sheriff Jones' blog!

Consider What A Cop Takes.

This was in an email I received today. I thought it was worth posting. Poem for a Police Officer:

FIRST HE TAKES THE OATH.

NOW LOOK AT ALL HE TAKES:

HE TAKES... It in stride when people call him pig.

HE TAKES... His lousy paycheck realizing he'll never be rich.

HE TAKES... a second job to make ends meet and support his family.

HE TAKES... Time to stop and talk to your children.

HE TAKES... Your verbal abuse while giving you the ticket you really deserve.

HE TAKES... On creeps you would be afraid to even look at.

HE TAKES... Time away from his family to keep your family safe.

HE TAKES... Your injured child to the hospital.

HE TAKES... The graveyard shift without complaint because it's his turn.

HE TAKES... His life into his hands daily.

HE TAKES... You home when your car breaks down.

HE TAKES... Time to explain why both of your headlights have to work.

HE TAKES... The job no one else wants--telling you a loved one has died.

HE TAKES... Criminals to jail.

HE TAKES... In sights that would make you cry.

SOMETIMES... He cries too, but he takes it anyway because someone has to.

IF... He's lucky, he takes retirement.

HE TAKES... Memories to bed each night that you couldn't bear even for one day.

HE TAKES... Time to explain to his family why he can't make the ball game his child is in and why he has to work on the holiday when other parents are off.

SOMETIMES... He takes a bullet.

AND YES... Occasionally he may take a free cup of coffee.

THEN ONE DAY... HE PAYS FOR ALL HE HAS TAKEN AND GOD TAKES HIM.

GOD BLESS ALL COPS EVERYWHERE

CAIR Pissed Over 24: Surprise!

CAIR is angry over season six of 24's selection of baddies: Muslim terrorists.

From The Mercury News:

"The overwhelming impression you get is fear and hatred for Muslims," said Rabiah Ahmed, a spokeswoman for the Washington-based Council on American-Islamic Relations. She said Thursday she was distressed by this season's premiere.

"After watching that show, I was afraid to go to the grocery store because I wasn't sure the person next to me would be able to differentiate between fiction and reality."

Really? Now I'm offended that you think I'm such an idiot!

CAIR had a conference call with FOX executives on Wednesday to protest the "negative" portrayal of Muslims on 24.

Of course, this is ridiculous. What religious terror group has openly attacked this country? Yet, in six seasons of television, only TWO have used Islamic terror as a plotline. Also, Kiefer Sutherland did PSAs during the last season featuring Islamofacists, reminding us simpletons at home that not ALL Muslims are terrorists.

I guess FOX will have to dust those off again...

In a written statement issued late Wednesday night, the network said it has not singled out any ethnic or religious group for blame in creating its characters.

"24 is a heightened drama about anti-terrorism," the statement read. "After five seasons, the audience clearly understands this, and realizes that any individual, family, or group (ethnic or otherwise) that engages in violence is not meant to be typical.

"Over the past several seasons, the villains have included shadowy Anglo businessmen, Baltic Europeans, Germans, Russians, Islamic fundamentalists, and even the (Anglo-American) president of the United States," the network said. "The show has made a concerted effort to show ethnic, religious and political groups as multidimensional, and political issues are debated from multiple viewpoints."

So where are the Russian protesters? Why aren't the 'Anglo-Americans' in an uproar? Did the President Bush have a hissy fit when 24 portrayed the President as a conniving back-stabber last season?

Sohail Mohammed, a New Jersey immigration lawyer who represented scores of detainees caught up in the post Sept. 11, 2001 dragnet, watched the episode depicting the nuclear attack with an Associated Press reporter.

"I was shocked," he said. "Somewhere, some lunatic out there watching this will do something to an innocent American Muslim because he believes what he saw on TV."

I'm shocked that some lunatic might do something to an innocent American 'infidel' because he believes the hatred being spewed from some mosques.

Engy Abdelkader, a member of the American Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee from Howell, N.J., launched a campaign Wednesday to encourage Muslims offended by the program to complain to Fox.

"I found the portrayal of American Muslims to be pretty horrendous," she said. "It was denigrating from beginning to end. This is one of the most popular programs on television today. It's pretty distressing."

You know what I find pretty distressing? That CAIR and similar Muslim groups are getting their panties in a bunch over a fictional television show, rather than taking on and protesting the very real threat posed by extremists here and abroad.

Rather than sweeping the problem under the rug and crying "bigot" every time someone dares to impugn a Muslim, how about changing the reality that the art imitates?

How about showing us a little compassion?


Why, do you ask, would we fear Muslims in the first place?

Because of the open threats coming from some of their religious leaders:

From CNN.com:

DUBLIN, Ireland (CNN) -- At a recent debate over the battle for Islamic ideals in England, a British-born Muslim stood before the crowd and said Prophet Mohammed's message to nonbelievers is: "I come to slaughter all of you."

"We are the Muslims," said Omar Brooks, an extremist also known as Abu Izzadeen. "We drink the blood of the enemy, and we can face them anywhere. That is Islam and that is jihad."

Some Muslims in the crowd were appalled and disgusted by Brooks' sermon, and openly objected.

"These people, ladies and gentleman, have a good look at them. They actually believe if you kill women and children, you will go to heaven," said one young Muslim who waved his finger at the radicals.

"This is not ideology. It's a mental illness."

Why doesn't CAIR speak out against this sort of thing, like the man in this crowd? He doesn't have an organization behind him, but he still had the courage to denounce the pig Omar Brooks.

Choudary, whose group Al-Mahajiroun disbanded before the British government could outlaw it under its anti-terror laws, spoke to CNN and made clear he wants to see Islamic law for Britain.

"All of the world belongs to Allah, and we will live according to the Sharia wherever we are," said Choudary, a lawyer. "This is a fundamental belief of the Muslims."

Asked if he believes in democracy, he said, "No, I don't at all." "One day, the Sharia will be implemented in Britain. It's a matter of time."

But we aren't supposed to feel threatened? We aren't supposed to be wary? We've been attacked, and openly threatened non-stop for years now. WE'RE HANDSHY.

While Choudary and other radicals continue to try to spread their beliefs, others say there is no justification for jihad in England. Imam Usama Hasan memorized the Quran by the time he was 11 and at 19, he briefly fought in Afghanistan against the Soviets.

"If you have the wrong intention, you can justify your criminal actions from any text -- whether it's the Quran or Bible or Shakespeare," Hasan said.

He said it makes him "furious" when radicals quote the Quran out of context to justify killing of innocents. It's a "very tiny" minority with such beliefs, he said, but "it only takes a handful, of course, to create devastation."

"Many people are terrified of Muslims. They are terrified of a brother walking down the road with his eastern dress and his hat and his beard, because they have seen these images associated with suicide bombers," he said.

"It is up to us to dispel that fear -- to smile at people to tell them that ... the message of Islam is not about bits of cloth. It is not about the beard or head scarf or the face veil or violence.
It is about peace."

It is about peace! It is up to Muslims to counter the extremism of Muslims. It cannot come from the infidel, and it certainly won't come from CAIR's solution of sweeping any complaint or bad portrayal under the rug.

Americans have been understanding, waiting for a reformation... Let's hope it comes before the extremists use all of our patience up.

Dumb Bunny?

The next time someone tells you that you don't have a snowball's chance, think of this little guy:

Islam: Religion or Boy's Club?

Check out the fairness, equity and respect that Islam shows the ladies...

Or not.

UK Mosques: Terrorist Training Camps From The Dark Ages.

You've probably seen this over at Kevin's site, but I feel it is so amazing that I want to post on it, too.

It is a six-part miniseries by a British reporter who went undercover at mainstream mosques for about four months. Each segment is about four minutes long, and is shocking.

Ethical Reform And Troop Surges...

I wonder how those first 100 hours are going...

Afghani heroes!

Two Afghani civilians stopped a terrorist attack yesterday when they realized that something was wrong, and yanked a homicide bomber from his car before he could detonate in front of the U.S. military base in Kabul.

Oops. Looks like those 72 virgins are going to have to wait...

From CNN.com:

"I think it's a pretty amazing and heroic event," (Col. Tom) Collins said.

He said that at about 9 a.m. Tuesday (10:30 p.m. ET Monday) a driver crashed his vehicle into Camp Phoenix, the base where the Afghan National Army and police are trained. The driver reached for what appeared to be a cord to detonate a bomb, he said.

"Amazingly, a couple of Afghans who just happened to be on the scene there realized what was happening," Collins said.

"Anyone's inclination would have been to run away but these guys are genuine heroes," Collins said.

Yeah, they hate us and all want to die to get us out, huh, Dhimmocrats?

Inter-Species Profiling?

Don't let PeTA or the ACLU get their paws on this one!

(Click to enlarge.)

Mine Your Own Business

This video poses an interesting question: Are environmentalists really communist in sheep's clothing?

Pot, Meet Kettle...

Nancy Pelosi warned President Bush yesterday that he "should not abuse his power."

Really? So, after cries of ethical reformation by the Democratic party, Pelosi has the cajones to warn against abuse of power right after she exempted the major tuna fish company in San Francisco? The one in her district? The ONLY one place exempted in the United States besides the American Samoa territory, who also does major tuna fishing?!?

So is Pelosi corrupt, or does she just hate Samoans?

C'mon, Nancy... Which is it?

Bend over, U.S., and make sure you pick up a supply of this. You're going to need it.

*Disclaimer* I am not for the minimum wage hike.*

Bad Publicity

Looks like someone needs to go to the back of the class...

Talk Like Jack Bauer Day

Just two hours into his day, Jack has already personally killed two terrorists, ripping the throat out of one with his teeth, and kicking a suicide bomber off of a subway after letting him arm his belt.

So far, I'm into two hours of my day and have managed to shower, drink a cup of coffee, and turn on the computer.

Today is Talk Like Jack Bauer Day, brought to you by Blogs4Bauer!

(Hat tip to Nanc for bringing this site to my attention!)

Here's an example (Excerpted from B4B) of what to do:

How to act on Talk Like Jack Bauer Day
-Make sure to yell very simple requests.
-Take a helicopter to work.
-Issue threats that involve family members and/or body parts.
-Always mention that you're running out of time.
-Carry a manpurse. Wear aviators. Don't do drugs.
-Start each conversation with "I'm federal agent (your name), and today is the longest day of my life".
-Carry around zip ties and a pair of pliers (because you never know).
-Ask a coworker for either a hacksaw or lighter fluid.
-Keep a car battery and some jumper cables on your desk.
-Use your cell phone as much as possible. If the battery dies, just pretend it's still working.
-End phone calls by stating "remember, I'm in a Flank 2 position". Works well when you are on a conference call.
-Use at least 5 exclamation points in every email!!!!
-Ask "Who are you working for!?" to as many people as possible.
-Throw out a "Dammit" during the day, just for the hell of it.
-Drink each time you hear a co-worker say "Dammit".
-Make a mistake at work? Blame Nina Myers.
-Request everything be sent to your PDA (works best if you don't have one).
-Accuse co-workers and/or children of being moles.
-Make sure to let your co-workers catch you looking at Google Earth maps of their houses. When they ask why, tell them that you've tracked a terrorist cell to that location.


Co-worker: How was your weekend?
You: dammit Bob, we don't have time for simple questions.
Co-worker: I just asked about your weekend.
You: Dammit. Who are you working for?
Co-worker: Never mind, forget I asked.

Co-worker: Hey man. Did you already get breakfast?
You: I've killed 3 people today and no I've yet to eat breakfast. Dammit!
Co-worker: Is that a threat?
You: That's not a threat, that's a fact.

Co-worker: Hey, can you cover for me? I need to run an errand.
You: Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you're still conscious is that I don't want to do your work for you.

Finally, remember that for the whole 24 hours of Talk Like Jack Bauer Day, you cannot go to the bathroom or charge a cell phone. Also, it should only take you a maximum of 3 minutes to get anywhere you are going.

Saddam's Half-Brother Hanged.

Two of Saddam Hussein's aids were hanged today, including Saddam's half-brother, Barzan Ibrahim al-Tikriti.

It seems that there is some outrage over the seemingly botched execution: Barzan's head was torn from his body.

Executioners must gauge the correct length of rope to use during a hanging, using just enough so that the weight of the condemned snaps the neck, but not so much that the head is torn from the body.

Barzan's son-in-law accused the government of ripping of his father's head on purpose, as an act of retribution, rather than simply making a mistake.

And after all, you'd think that living under Saddam's brutal dictatorship would've given those hangmen plenty of experience, right? Barzan himself had lots of experience ordering the execution of children, personally overseeing torture sessions while eating, and ordering his men to feed people through meat grinders.

Put this filth in the ground where he belongs, I say, and let's not waste one more second worrying about his last few seconds of discomfort.

Jack Bauer Facts

This post to remain at the top for the rest of the week. Please scroll down for newer entries.

It's finally time! I'm giddy as a schoolgirl!

24 Premiers this Sunday.

JACK IS BACK!

To celebrate the return of 24, I have compiled a list of the very best Jack Bauer facts, excluding certain lame ones.

If you know any more good ones, feel free to leave them in the comment field!

-When a convicted terrorist was sentanced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentance reduced to death.

-The city of L.A. once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

-The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition.

-When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload.

-When 24 airs on the Spanish channel everyones lines are translated except for Jack's. Nobody speaks for Jack Bauer.

-If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

-Life doesn't give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants.

-My husband doesn't wish he was Jack Bauer. He wishes I was Jack Bauer.

-If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

-Most pilots need 5,000 feet of runway to land a plane. Jack Bauer needs 100 feet and a gun.

-MTV once tried to 'Punk' Kiefer Sutherland by staging a robery in a store. Sutherland smiled and pulled out his SIG and shot 3 actors in the head. This is why there was a new cast on Punk'd after season one.

-The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer.

-Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic.

-There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.

-Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

-Going to China is all part of Jack Bauer's master plan to rid the world of Communism.

-Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

-Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

-A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.

-When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found the guy who took it and made him put it back.

-If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

-1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

-Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

-If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.

-Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

-Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

-It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless you spilt Jack Bauer's milk.

-On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as the answer to every one of the problems. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.

-Jack needed a well-earned holiday after season 5. Drugged, captured, beaten and tortured in a cargo hold surrounded by Chinese agents eager for revenge is just his preferred method of travel - otherwise he tends to get bored on long trips.

-Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

-Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

-In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border.

-Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."

-Messenger bags owe Jack Bauer for single-handedly stealing them from the clutches of emo fashion and making them genuinely cool. Same thing with hoodies. And crying.

-Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

-Every time Jack Bauer sayes "Son of a bitch" a new CTU agent is born.

-Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that wimp went to the hospital first.

-When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."

-Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

-In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What have you done with your life?

-When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out.

-There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

-Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.

-Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

-The truth may hurt, but it doesn't hurt as much as Jack Bauer.

-Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

-When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.

-Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car.

-Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

-In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane raveged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around?

-Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're frickin' dead."

-When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

-Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

-Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better frickin' do it.

-If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Stalin and Hitler so they wouldn't have to bear witness to what he'd do to Nina.

-Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.

-If you have the ability to read, thank a teacher. If you have thefreedom to read, thank the veterans of WW2. If you're alive to read, thank Jack Bauer.

-There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.

-When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

-Explosions do not kill Jack Bauer, they just get stuff out of his way.

-There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. They are all Jack Bauer.

-Jack Bauer can leave a message before the beep.

-Jack has broken Tony's leg, knocked Curtis out, and shot George Mason with a tranquilizer dart. Temporary incapacitation is Jack Bauer's way of saying, "let's be friends."

-Quetin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent.

-"Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm screwed."

-When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.

-Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.

-During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.

-Osama Bin Laden hides under the covers in his bedroom every Monday night from 9 to 10 and cries.

-If Jack Bauer was Santa Claus, the only present you'd get is your life.

-Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.

-Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a pussy.

-Jack Bauer doesn't make threats. He makes facts.

-Jehovah's Witnesses once tried to convert Jack Bauer. After four minutes of interrogation, they admitted Jack Bauer was God.

-If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

-Jack's execution of Ryan Chappelle scared his cousin Dave so much that he quit his show and moved to South Africa.

-In one episode, there was an assassin who had the ability to throw Jack Bauer to the ground and break his rib. I hate how unrealistic 24 is sometimes.

-James Bond has a license to kill. Jack Bauer don't need any licenses.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.

-When Jack Bauer turns on an Xbox the screen just says "You Win" and turns itself off again.

-If Jack Bauer was the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, T.O. would have shut up and just played.

-If Jack Bauer tells you to get out of the room because you don't want to see what he's about to do, you better stay your in that room because you're about to witness the most shockingly awesome thing you've ever seen.

-If you send someone to kill Jack Bauer, the only thing you accomplish is supplying him a fresh set of weapons to kill you with.

-Jack Bauer doesn't ground Kim, he teaches her a lesson by allowing her to be kidnapped by terrorists.

-The only purpose of the airbag in Jack Bauer's car is to prevent the steering wheel from being damaged by Jack's face.

-When terrorists go to hell, if they say Jack Bauer sent them, they'll get a group discount.

-When Jack Bauer watches a pot, it boils immediately.

-The Incredible Hulk once got so angry it turned into Jack Bauer.

-Oil and Water don't mix, unless Jack Bauer tells them to.

-If the groundhog sees his shadow, that means 6 more weeks of winter. If Jack Bauer sees your shadow, that means 6 more seconds to live.

-When Jack Bauer is looking for a good laugh, he watches Chuck Norris work out on his Total Gym.

-Jack Bauer didn't use heroin because he had to. He took heroin because saving the world sober was getting too easy.

-The Army stopped recruiting when they realized Jack Bauer was in fact the army of one they had been looking for.

-The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Jack Bauer has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

-Jack Bauer can order a Big Mac at Burger King.

-Don't ask what Jack Bauer what he would do for a Klondike bar...

-Jack Bauer is God's Easy Button.

-To stop the Japanese in WWII Truman was going to drop Jack Bauer out of a Bomber. Instead he went with a nuke because it was more humane.

-Chuck Norris once sent Jack Bauer a Total Gym. Jack promptly returned it with the bullet-ridden corpse of a terrorist, as well as a note that had been stapled to the man's chest. It read, "This is what I do to workout."

Democratic Surrender-Monkeys

When did we let a bunch of Frenchmen into our Senate?

Democratic Senators are surrendering to Iran before we've done anything there!

MSM Runs With It...

"Quagmire, Quagmire, Quagmire!!!"

Is anyone surprised that al-Reuters is heading up it's story with this headline:

Bush to send more troops to Iraq, admits mistakes

The whole thing is written like an op-ed piece.

Pelosi Nixes House Smokers

Nancy Pelosi isn't making friend on the Hill... She has banned smoking in the Speaker's Lobby, effective immediately.

"The days of smoke-filled rooms in the United States Capitol are over. Medical science has unquestionably established the dangerous effects of secondhand smoke, including an increased risk of cancer and respiratory diseases. I am a firm believer that Congress should lead by example," Pelosi said.

Congress is still allowed to chain smoke in their own offices.

I find myself actually agreeing with this one... To a point.

I don't care if smokers smoke. Smoke all day long if you want to! In public forums, however, I can't choose to not breathe your second-hand smoke. Isn't it only fair to compromise?

Giving New Meaning To The Term "Fish Tank."

Behold, The Fish 'N Flush, a new two-piece toilet tank which has a clear wrap-around aquarium that surrounds the flush tank.

That's one way to make potty-training the kids interesting.

Considering the view they're getting, it's a good thing that fish have such short memories.

50 Terrorists Killed In Iraq

What's this? A little good news coming out of Iraq? I do hope the MSM doesn't choke on it!

U.S. and Iraqi soldiers killed 50 militant terrorists in Baghdad in the wee hours today, and captured 21 more, including seven foreign terrorists from Syria and the Sudan.(But hey, we won't even secure our own borders... Why should we be surprised that President Bush won't secure Iraq's?)

From the AP:

(Iraqi) Government spokesman Ali al-Dabbagh said Iraqi forces had decided to wipe out "terrorist hide-outs" in the area once and for all. "God willing, Haifa Street will never threaten the Iraqi people again," he said.

Keep up the good work, troops!

110th Congress Has Their Priorities...

I'm sure the 110th Congress enjoyed an impromptu day off yesterday to enjoy the Florida/OSU football game!

That's right, our elected officials, who only work a three day week in the first place, decided to take the DAY off for a prime-time college ball game.

I'd like to take this opportunity to do an un-scientific poll: How many of you got yesterday off work for football? How many of you get paid to only work three days a week, with NO overtime whatsoever, and can just arbitrarily decide when you get to go in, leave, and when you don't want to go, you don't?

From FoxNews.com:

Though the schedule does not offer an explanation for the delay, Hoyer, D-Md., said on the House floor that he wanted to let lawmakers from the big states of Ohio and Florida off, presumably so they could attend the game or participate in game-related activities at home.

"There is a very important event happening Monday night, particularly for those who live
in Ohio and Florida. In the spirit of comity, and I know if Maryland were playing, I would want to be accommodated and I want to accommodate my friend, Mr. Boehner," Hoyer said in reference to new House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Hoyer the Democrat leading the charge to make Congress work a five-hour day in the first place?

I guess ethics and campaign promises are only delivered when they are convenient for the one doing the promising, and the American voter be damned!

Ramones Day At NeoCon Command Center

In honor of our good friend Nanc, today is Ramones (Read the part about their break-up. Hee, hee.) day here at NeoCon.

Enjoy the musical selection for today!

BLOGGER CONVENTION!

This post to remain at the top for a while. Please scroll down for fresh posts.

Steve at Steve's Hodgepodge is planning a little get-together...

Let him know what you think!

The Koran Influenced America's Founding Fathers?

Keith Ellison, who took his Congressional Oath of Office Thursday with a Koran, told the Detroit Free Press that the Koran "definitely an important historical document in our national history and demonstrates that Jefferson was a broad visionary thinker who not only possessed a Quran, but read it; it would have been something that contributed to his own thinking."

Yeah, it probably slam-dunked their decision to separate the Church from the State, and found the nation on the laws of the Bible, rather than the brutal law of the Koran.

Ellison went on to claim that Jefferson's ownership of the Koran "shows that from the earliest times of this republic, the Koran was in the consciousness of people who brought about democracy."

Does that even make sense? I can't get my brain around it! I can't think of a single example where Sharia law and democracy work together. If the Koran was in the consciousness of our Founding Fathers, then it must have been there as an example of what wouldn't work!

These quotes are the very reason why Ellison should not have been allowed to use the Koran while doing the swearing-in photo op; the freak-jobs at CAIR, and the Islamic Thinkers Society will take this and run with it: "See? Your Founding Fathers intended for this nation to be based upon the laws of Allah; this is just one step closer to the inevitable: Sharia law in America."

The freak-jobs in al-Queada and those sort of terror groups will take the photo of Ellison, hand on the Koran, and show it in the Middle East where free access to information is limited, and show it as a victory for Allah. I guarantee you will see Ellison's picture in the Mosques at Friday sermon, accompanied by cries of "Allahu Akbar."

If Ellison is a true patriot, then he should be afraid and ashamed that he's done this country more harm than good.